How to Be Engaged 101

29 Jun

Getting engaged can make you joke. For ten minutes. Being surprised brings on strange reactions sometimes. Sorry no tears, future hubby-dearest.

There should be a class called “Your life will change when you get that sparklin’ somethin somethin on your left hand.” There should be another class (the period after) called “But it’s not what you think it’ll be like.”

Since girls are itty bitty they dream about finding the perfect guy (who?) and about him dropping to his knee on a beach or in a field, under sparkling stars or a rainbow or something [insert your obnoxiously naive childhood dream here]. What they don’t tell you is what happens the two hours after you get engaged? Or in the next week? The awkward, hazy time when the chips fall and reality sinks in. Weddings cost money, and lots of it. People react differently than you thought. Your 86-year-old grandparent who has bugged you to get married for the past five years says, “Can you please pass the salt?”

First, you answer lots and lots of questions. When is the wedding? What Si level color 1 XYZ is that diamond (Did I buy it, no.)? What kind of bride will you be–princess bride, elegant bride, psycho bride? Who will be sitting in the third to last row of your chapel? You get the point. While it’d be easy to complain about such inquiries, the shocked and confused and elated bride-to-be must quickly realize that this is people showing they care, in the way they know best…asking questions. It does not mean I have to know the answers, or should feel less than adequate if I don’t.

Lesson one of the engagement class is that people react in their own ways on their own schedule, and so do the bride and groom. If I want to stay up all night six days after getting engaged to scour wedding hair-dos, I can do that. That’s my way of showing excitement. If my fiance wants to sleep through it, that’s his choice…ring picking is exhausting, you know.


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